Throwing Candy
by Rick Lupert

The war tribunal gathers
in the corner of the room
hands clenched with candy–
The Bar Mitzvah Boy is going down.
The moment comes and
the bombardment begins

Siman Tov u Mazel Tov

No-one is prepared for the candyage.
Except for the Bar Mitzvah boy
who starts to fire back–
Candy caught and hurled
at the revelers.

u mazel tov u siman tov

Thank God they purchased
the soft gels. No one wants to
talk about the hard candy massacre
at the Fitzstein Bat Mitzvah

y’hei lanu, y’hei lanu

Both sides have been preparing for this
their whole lives, which, relatively speaking,
has not been that long.
Everyone claims victory since
no one has put an eye out
and no pockets go home empty.

u’lchol y’israel

Though little cousin Shlomo wasn’t able
to help out with the Aleinu
as he had previously agreed to
as his teeth and tongue were
stuck together with fruit gem residue.

y’hei lanu, y’hei lanu

The Rabbi took over in the pinch.
This is the way of the coming of age.
This is how little Jews
become adults.

u’lchol y’israel


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