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The File Folder Titled Jerry
by Jane Lang
I deleted the file folder titled Jerry; emails from you to me that contained personal and intimate references better left unread after my death by either Jeff or Steve or their wives, Anne and Nina. I love all of them but these offhanded intimacies from our early days are mine. To do with what I will. You died in 2014 though the emails were still in the folder until a couple months ago. I decided to purge your written words, not the want. Not the unexpected happiness. Not the love that beat like a hammer for so long in my chest it clouded rational sense. I’m old and don’t want to be caught dead with the sensual parts of our relationship lined up by date, in an email folder called Jerry. Let’s let Jeff and Steve think what they want about our love and marvel we found each other before I turned sixty.
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