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Call From the Wild
by Nick Zegarac

Make Your Selection
from our natural oasis
of eligible clients:

These are the specifics of my life… thus far -

Bryan: 39
and singled out,
in a life so closely resembling that well known – hot spot…
not ‘G’ or the Bahamas.
Rodeos, westerns, and my horse – Pooky.
Avid Matchbox collector,
recovering Trekkie.
Please reply.
My horse is starting to look at me funny.

Big and dumb,
That’s the way they grow’ em on the farm!

These are the specifics of my life…
thus far –

Karen: 36
in the process of getting a messy divorce,
on the prowl again for Mr. Right.
Must be rich, sexy,
and able to beat the snot out of my soon-to-be ex.
Slight fetishes okay,
No freaks.
I weigh 236 lbs. stripped -
only because I’m 6’9,
svelte and buxom.
Interests: anything with pants and a fat wallet –
My mother always said “marry rich…”
I intend to.

What? Yuck!
Amazon gold digger needs a new pair of shoes?
I need a ladder to get into bed.

These are the specifics of my life…
thus far -

Jorge: 29
Messy break up left me bitter
and horny…
okay, okay!
More horny than bitter.
Interests: bong hits, cow-tipping,
and generally raising hell.
Not above giving my dates a light smack…
now and then…
okay, okay…more now than then –
but only if they deserve it.
Interests: If she doesn’t dig my Harley – we’re done.

Hmmm…steroidal boy-toy…
no punching bag, am I,
could get used to his muscles, though.

These are the specifics of my life…
thus far –

Ariel: 31
Tired of straight sex,
want a relationship
and someone to watch my kid
while mama brings home the bacon.
Exotic dancer -
some noticeable mileage
and tricked out; will teach willing man/woman…
leaving things open (wide open…come on in)
don’t let the door hit you in the ass, Jack!
The mild mannered need not apply.

See – the dilemma,
Not that there isn’t anybody out there…
just anybody I want.
World full of people,
Scary People,
…and lonely
We have that much in common…

Is that your sister?
Who’s yer daddy?
…and hey little girl, is your mother home?

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