Snow Angel
by Constance Kostelc
I woke up in the chair I fell into last night and slept until sunrise. My friends wanted to stay but I said I wanted to be alone. But I didn't. I wanted you to be with me, but you had moved on to the next life and without you no one could comfort me. Maybe your father could help but they are trying to find him in a war zone so I'm not sure when he will be back. I worried I would lose him but not you.
My hands still feel cold from holding your tiny fingers as you went from warm to ice. The nurses had a hard time encouraging me to let you go. They ended up having the doctor come. She put her arms around me and I finally let go and burst into tears. I felt like I drained every last drop of liquid from my body. Even my bones ached.
With the sunlight coming in, my friends will soon be here with food and comfort. That’s what friends do. It’s time to open the curtains. How can things change so quickly? You opened the curtains yesterday as you loved to do, singing, “Let the Sunshine In.” And now when I open them myself, I will see your smiling face singing.
Three children walking home from school hit by someone texting for a pizza and running a stop sign. You would be happy to know the others had only minor injuries and will be fine. Only you moved on. You would always think of others even when you were so young. When you were in first grade and woke up from anesthesia, the first thing you said to me was, “how’s your cold?” Always concerned for others. How could someone so kind be taken from this world?
I open the curtains in the living room and see a snow angel your size facing me. The wind blows dry snow across it, but it does not settle in the recesses. No foot prints are in the snow. No way it should be there. If someone was walking by and did this it should be along the sidewalk and not close to the house. It would also have been facing the other direction. And no footprints anywhere in the yard or the sidewalk.
A pale cardinal sings a song while sitting on a naked red-bud branch. She flies up to meet her scarlet-colored mate. As they fly off, one of her feather’s flutters down landing on the hand of the angel. I quickly open the door and run out to pick it up. You loved the cardinals and the color red. I know you will be with me always. Rest well my sweet little love until I can hold you again.
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