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Tutorial for a Muse
by Jerry Hicks
First, I know I dragged you into this book, maybe against
your will--perhaps you wanted to do something else, to be.
with someone else. But here you are. Try to smile. That's
what I like you best in. I'm sorry I snapped your bra strap.
I agree it was juvenile. And no, I didn't advertise for a
muse on Craig's List. There must be another Jerry H___.
One who's also named Jerry H___ who is also a writer and
lives in Torrance. Google me, see how many hits you get
There are a lot of us. I know.
I'm not sure how much I'll pay you. How much do you
want? And could you wait until I sell the manuscript,
maybe work on commission? And yes, I know my sales
record isn't that great, that's precisely why I need a muse.
And since you are raising that issue, when do I get
inspired? And since I'm new at this muse stuff too, should
I smoke something when you are busy inspiring me, or
should I keep a clear head?
I'd also appreciate if if you'd stop telling me that all I think
about is sex and that if I'd think more about the plot, I'd
get more written. Sex is easy to think about. The
converse, working on the novel, is difficult to say the least.
The last novel I wrote I did in 60 days flat and you know
what a disaster that was. I should have just stayed in jail
and forfitted the advance. You are right, at least about
Yes, I do think you're pretty and I do like straight black
hair. No, not all girls with straight black hair, but especially
you. No, I've never had a muse with straight black hair
before. I told you, I'm as new at this muse thing as you
Well of course, I like your other features. Yes, you are
curvy in all the right places, but what do these questions
have to do with me. I'm with you. I chose you. Isn't that
Yes, I can tell you are very emotional. I mean sensitive.
No not overly sensitive, just right sensitive.
I'm not angry all the time. I'm frustrated. No, not just
about sex. But that is a big part of it. I think. Maybe you
and I can work something out there also. What contract? I
thought you were working for the poetry. Oh, you can't
pay your bills with poetry. Funny, neither can I.