Today, I yearn to pick up the phone and press the button that says MOM or MAMA or MA.
by Mikela Bjork

Mom, I'm having such a hard day.
To which she would respond:

Oh, honey. Tell me more Or
Oh, angel. I'm so sorry. Can I come over and make you some tea and draw you a bath? Or
Oh, darling, it's just the worst, isn't it? Meet me at (favorite restaurant) in an hour and let's
talk about (creative projects, ocean life, dogs doing silly things). My treat.

Today, I yearn for a woman to hold me with the strength of a Mother. A Mama, who lets me sob
deeply, who listens, empathetically, who reflects back, compassionately. Today, I yearn to
phone-a-Mom and ask:

What did you do when I didn't want to go to bed as a child? Or
Do you think I'm being too hard on him? Or
When did you start going through menopause? Or
Do you think we should try for a third? Or
Can you come and stay with us so that I can finish my book? Or
Do you want to come over this weekend for a sleepover? Or
How did you know that dad was the one? Or
What were the hardest ages for you with me and how did you get through them? Or
What multivitamins should I take at 43? Or
When did you start enjoying food? Or
I'm considering postponing my sabbatical, what do you think? Or
I'm considering taking my sabbatical and never returning to academia again.
What do you think?

I yearn to ask these and so many other boring questions as I lean into the wisdom of a Mom.
I yearn for the wisdom of a Crone, who birthed me and nurtured me to be the curious,
compassionate, determined, self-reflective, responsible, creative, willing, meticulous, messy,
strong, willful, serious, talented, perfectionistic, hyper-vigilant, punishing, restricting, defensive,
clenched, resentful, affirming, nurturing, honest, angry, carefree, supportive, sexy, generous,
fearful, anxious, withholding, silly, joyful, intense woman and mother that I am today.

Today I yearn for a Mother, who affirms me in my wiping, snuggling, smooching, boundary-
setting, playing, cooking, sweeping, building, shuffling, juggling, articulating, motivating,
inspiring, loving, creating, thinking, doing, being. I yearn for a Mother, who assures me that I am
a good enough mother.
I yearn for a Mother to call me on my birthday. I yearn for a Mother to call my children on their
birthdays. I yearn for a Mother to send love notes in the mail to all of us, just because.
Today, my fingers ache, as they scroll through my list of contacts searching for a Mother, so that
I can phone-a-mom.
 

Return to: